Are women more emotional than men?
Kenny Hills appears upset that his ’emotional’ football team has lost a game. He should try to cry well and hard.
For at least two weeks a month, my emotions rule everything I do. If they told me to fight with a stranger, or go to bed three days in a row, that’s what happened. This is normal for those of us with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), a hormone-driven mental illness officially classified as a disability.
PMDD affects about 5% of those of us who menstruate. PMDD makes me one of those “emotional women”.
Northern Ireland women’s football manager Kenny Shiels was referring to the kind of woman he blamed on his team for the mood of the team’s recent loss to England. In his words: “I believe if you look closely at the patterns, you will notice when a team concedes a goal, they concede a second goal in a very, very short period, right in women’s football. The whole range. Games, because girls and women are more emotional than men.”
In the 19th century, my PMDD would get me diagnosed with “hysteria” and sent to a lunatic asylum. In the 21st century, while I was free to live outside the confines of institutions, I was saddled with a woefully underresearched “women’s problem” that severely affected my ability to work, socialize, and take care of myself. Associating our emotions with hormonal fluctuations is often seen as retrograde and sexist. When only women are labeled “hormones,” it sure is.
The truth, however, is that for all of us regardless of gender hormone is hell. Excessive production of testosterone can lead to aggression.
Of course, the severity of the fluctuations will vary, but there’s no denying that we’re all full of chemicals that make us animal-like, irrational, and, every now and then, jerks.
Yet it is those of us who menstruate who are labelled hysterical. In the context of Hills’ comments, it may be worth remembering that when England’s men’s football team lost their Euro 2020 final, it was the hordes of people (mostly men, if the picture) that had to be stopped.
And video if you can) Riot police turned London into a horde of overturned buses and empty beer cans. The real difference between (cisgender) men and women is not our emotional level, but how we express ourselves socially.
I would be lying if I said my emotions would never throw me into an irrational mess, but I should open up about my mess: let it all out. If I tear up and tell anyone who might accept my PMDD anger that I “had a bad day”, it’s seen as very common female behavior. Doing the same thing alone breaks a big taboo.
Recently, after researching PMDD, my father came to me in tears. He gave me a hug and told me he was worried about me. After briefly wondering if I was so hormonal that I passed on my irritability to my dad like the coronavirus, it’s nice to remind me that men are emotional too.
Extremely emotional. Sometimes, they even get emotional about the emotions of others. In fact, Kenny Hills may have inadvertently translated his emotions about the team’s loss into a blurted sexist trope. It’s not too cathartic, I think. I suggest Hills have a good cry.
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